in Laughter

The Trouble

 Is Somewhere Between the Pole and Babylon

Day 9.   To read it all, hit the link above.

The following is very funny on neighborhood internet services

“Rage has caffeine enough. I dial 866.995.5632 from bed and demand to speak to a supervisor. There is resistance. I beg. I get an all-American male voice. He says, The trouble is between the pole and Babylon. I say, “That is a great title for something.” He continues: The whole shelf is out. It’s a flooded station. It has been that way for over a week but will not be repaired until 24 other people complain. “What?” It takes 25 people to fix a station. “That’s another fine title,” I say. Don’t ask me why, but your neighbors have not complained in sufficient numbers yet. The flooded station is on the same street as your house. I suggest you mobilize your neighbors.”

“Mobilize my neighbors. I have not heard that phrase since the Vietnam War protest days. The memory triggers a minor acid flashback. Grace Slick is licking my ear. Thank God for medical marijuana. It helps me find the golden lining inside silver sheep, or some such aphorism. Should I opt for Optimum? My Verizon has been down for so long that once it is up and running, I figure the odds are mighty sweet that I will have service for a long, long time, or at least until the next super storm or Nor’easter. A white rabbit runs across the lawn. I chase it.”

Excerpt from Day 10

At my front door is a man in a shirt with the red Verizon logo. My atria fibrillates. He asks me if my internet is running. I ask him if this is a joke. He says no. I ask him why he is going door-to-door in 2014 and asking people about their internet service when he can simply look on the Verizon grid. He says he is trying to mobilize the neighbors in order to push his bosses into some positive action. My flashback has a flashback.

“The East End of Long Island is a loser. Verizon employs too many people and has too few customers and too many disasters. You can’t get FiOS, can you?”
“No.”
“They want you to quit so they can dump the business.”
“Verizon wants me to quit Verizon?”
“You didn’t hear this from me.”
“I didn’t?”
“Verizon wants you to sign up with Optimum.”
“They do?”
“I have to go. Good luck.”’

To the person who wrote this: Bruce Buschel on Nov 18, 2014 and updated January 2015, thanks it was a great read. It was found the by searching “verizon + trouble” We thank you.  So. Optimum or Verizon?

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